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Thank You and God Bless You! Bob
A Young Man's Hard Journey from Poland to
Priesthood Here
An Unusually Candid Account of a Priest's Early
Formation
" A
living example of Christ in our lives," said a veteran church volunteer
This is another in a series of interviews with priests, pastors, missionaries and other heaven-bound individuals interviewed during the ten-year run of
this blog Exodus Trekkers. You
can read the 130 other Exodus Trekkers
posts on this web site, now being read
in more then 25 countries .
That Friday morning in July , Fr. Chris did not look like
a priest nor did that small , dimly-lit room I now
entered . I did not expect to see this
forty-year-old man in a
sweat-stained T-shirt and overalls
giving soft-spoken orders to three workmen laying new marble tile for an altar . I had come to hear him say morning
mass and then afterward to interview him . The sanctuary was empty and nearly barren, a scene of an ongoing do-it-yourself
reconstruction of the St. Thomas Becket Catholic Church in Mt. Prospect ,
Illinois , a suburb northwest of
Chicago. 
Three days later he emailed me the
updated facts and comments I had
requested for this report.
I Our Story Begins…
On August 2, 2003, a 23-year-old man disembarked at O'Hare International Airport
after a 10-hour direct flight from Krakow, Poland. He glanced curiously
around—his very first look at America—before being shuttled to the immigration line , then took a deep breath
and appeared ask himself: What have I done?
This apprehensive traveler with kind blue eyes and a jaunty walk was Krzysztof ("Chris") Kulig, and he had come to this country to become a Catholic priest. Though confident that his calling was from God, thoughts of his inadequacy pestered him.
While being herded through the airport's terminal he was
confronted with a barrage of American mannerisms and speech that was, to him, alien
babel. It painfully reminded that he
knew no English and was, in many
respects, still a country boy from a small village in southern Poland. He had forgotten that tomorrow was his birthday.
He then was comforted--he later told me--remembering what his mission was soon to be as the late Saint Josemaria
Escrivá wrote in "Love with
the Church ": A
priest is expected to bring love and
devotion to the celebration of the Holy Mass, to sit in the confessional, to
console the sick and the troubled; to teach sound doctrine to children and
adults, to preach the Word of God…[and]
to give counsel and be charitable to those in need.
Several
minutes later, Chris , along with l2
other Polish seminary candidates who had been on the same flight, showed his
visa to an immigration official. The group was greeted by the vice rector of Our Lady of the Lake Seminary in Mundelein, Illinois .
Again Chris breathed deeply. Ahead
was six years of studying a language all of which was foreign to him.
He would have to read, speak, and
understand it well enough to pass not only the seminary final exams but also to serve effectively as a
parish priest among many families
immersed in a wide spectrum of American culture.
II
Growing Up on a Farm in Poland... "
I never thought I would someday become a priest
," Fr. Chris told this
writer in one of several interviews we had
in the spring of 2011. Growing up on a farm near his hometown of Zegiesgtow, there had been no "mountain top"
experience , no voice from a burning bush like in the Old Testament to incite
him. But rather, he said, this momentous decision to be a priest had ,
he thought, mysteriously and slowly evolved.
Close to the border of Slovakia and once part of a fashionable resort
area known for its healing mineral waters , nearly everyone of is Zegiesgtow's 1,200 inhabitants
is Catholic. The village today is
farmland in a valley beneath hills
covered with pine and oak . "We're
lucky there because when storms come, these hills absorb them," Fr. Chris
said. His parents , Janina Skalniak and
Adam Kulig ,and his three older
brothers and two sisters still go to mass each Sunday. "There are no exceptions . "
Fr. Chris was an altar boy who rose at 4 a.m.
to catch a 5 a.m. train for the 32- kilometer ride to high school. He
was on the soccer team there. His father
was a
government forester, as was his grandfather; his mother is employed as a
cook at a Catholic retreat house .
"When I go home to visit ,
my mom plans a different menu for me each day . " (His favorite is cheese-stuffed ravioli ) .
The Kuligs
are a middle-class family, Fr. Chris said , "yet we always had bread on the table. " He remembers when food was rationed
during his childhood in the waning years
of Soviet-imposed communism . To deal with the shortage, each of the Kulig children shopped at a
different store . " There was a
time when there was no food in the stores . " He also remembers being cautioned by his parents not to say anything in public against the government for fear of being
reported by communist spies , who
occasionally walked the streets. "
I remember the revolution of 1989," he said.
It was the year when the spirits of Poland soared because the
Solidarity-led coalition government led by Lech Walesa was formed,
leading to the eventual fall of communism. ”
But I was not concerned then about life difficulties because I had parents to face any challenged."
III Inspired by a Visit from the Pope...
That blessing
came soon after high school when ,
during the l999 canonization Mass of St.
Kinga in Stary Sacz, Poland, he heard
John Paul II say: " Saints draw life from other saints. " The words struck a chord with this teenager .
"Without any delay," he was to say later, " I decided to
be a priest." He took—and passed—an
exam at the Pontifical Academy of
Theology in Kraków. "My mother was shocked. "
Reflecting on
his four years of living in Poland among 279 other seminarians and 72 priest
instructors and his first year being crammed into one dorm room with l4 other
students, Fr. Chris fondly remembers the
dramatic body language of his Italian instructor and the creativity of his cosmology professor
, Michal Heller. At first Chris he disliked being
restricted to the seminary
building all day except for one hour, and for that he needed permission .
"But I learned to like it later for the discipline it taught me.
" He failed a few exams but found the studying not difficult.
To prepare himself to better defend the
faith, he read several books by authors who challenged the Christian Catholic faith.
IV His
Critical Decision: A Priest in Poland or America ?
In his fourth
year of his pre-seminary education ,
Chris faced a critical decision: whether to serve in Poland as a priest or leave his native land
for America to help fill the void there of priests. His decision was influenced by a visit to the seminary by Cardinal George of
Chicago , who came to Poland
to encourage seminarians there to consider
being a priest in America. He advised
the college level seminarians that if they went through their final four
seminary years in America instead of in
Poland, then their adjustment to
American culture would be much easier
. The cardinal's advice was
affirmed in an exchange of emails
between Fr. Chris and a former classmate
, then a priest in Chicago.
"Yes,
Fr. Chris exclaimed in our interview , " I knew I would be leaving
everything, my family and friends and coming to a new culture. It would be like
jumping into a big ocean, and I didn't know if I would be able to swim well or
not. The
language was the big thing.
And I would be greeted at the airport by someone I had never met."
His diocese
in Poland paid his traveling expenses, and now, on that August day,
as he waited for the immigration
official to stamp his student visa, the
same thought flashed again: What have
I done?
V The Real Struggle Begins...
Housed in the
Chicago parish rectory of Our Lady of
St. Carmel , he was given intense
courses in English for a year at the
Bishop Preparatory Seminary and at the city
campus of the University of Illinois. "I was
bombarded with English five days
a week from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. It was very
difficult for me. Sometimes you just look at the teacher and ask : what is she asking me ? Vocabulary challenged him the most,
made even more difficult because students were from different countries
and could not apply their newly
learned language skills by interacting
with each other when outside of class
. Administrators purposely situated Chris and the other Polish in environments
where they were forced to communicate in English.
" I
really didn't have too much difficulty adjusting to the American culture,
"
Fr. Chris said. "The only discomfort I felt was when
walking down the street and I had to refrain from returning a wave or smile to
a child—all because of the sex abuse scandal. I had smiled once or twice in
passing a child and my friends told me "never, never do that again."
He was amazed
by how "fast everything is in America…there is no time for spontaneity.
Everything is by appointment. In Poland, for example, when an adult child wants
to visit their parents, they just go to their home. " Fr. Chris was equally surprised to discover
that, unlike in Poland, supermarkets in Chicago supply free paper or plastic bags and are bagged by
staff. But if Fr. Chris had any epiphany
during those four years he studied at the Mundelein seminary , it came with he
sensed a profound difference between how Polish people struggle
to overcome daily living obstacles—yet in America " just about anything could be
fixed . "
VI
Finally, a Priest in a Chicago
Suburb...
 |
| In his St. James office |
That next
May, Mr. Krzysztof Kulig stood in Holy Name Cathedral in the Chicago
Loop , waiting to become—for life—Father Chris Kulig. In the pews were Fr. Zavazki , his parents , and a sister ( who had
traveled from Poland just for this occasion ) ."It was very beautiful . "
I found myself asking : Can I really do it? Can I really take that huge responsibility of
being a priest. ? "
Minutes
later, the 32-year-old
Polish immigrant approached the altar and prostrated his wiry, five-foot-eight-inch body face down on the
cathedral floor. Parallel to him, with their faces also pressed to the floor ,were l3 other candidates: four from Poland , two from Tanzania and Kenya, two from Mexico and Peru,
and one born in Chicago. "I will
never forget how cold that marble floor
was. One of my classmates was crying and shaking….When Cardinal George put his
hand on me, I felt relief, I felt that
the Holy Spirit was saying : Don't be
afraid . I knew that God's grace had brought me this
far. "
Soon he was
being embraced by his family. "I
was so happy I cried. " Later
came a celebration party for him at the
White Eagle restaurant in Niles . " It was like a wedding." Fr. Chris
now was one of more than 27,000 diocesan priests in America.
His parents
and sister listened to his first homily at St.James, a parish of 4,000 families and more than 80 different
volunteer ministries. That Sunday he told the congregation how grateful he was to God for everything, especially
his parents. " I was
nervous, so aware that I was considered to
be the new kid on the block , and was—and still am—learning English. But I felt welcomed. I never felt that people
looked at me through the prism of my nationality but at who I am as a person and how I treat them."
For his first
two years at St. James, Fr. Chris read his hand-written homilies from
the altar. Nowadays he says he trusts in the promptings of the Holy Spirit
to guide him through his homilies. He can't recall his sentiments upon hearing his first confession other than he
felt very humble—and says he still does when hearing them —and acutely aware not to judge anyone. " I knew that a priest can not be
prepared for any confession because everyone comes to him with something
different to confess. I knew I had to
give my personal understanding of that person, how I could help him or her be a
better person, not to dismiss the
confession by simply saying to them : '
your penance is to say ten hail Mary's. ' " As for his first funeral, he noted that he was wearing a white rather
than a purple chasuble as worn by priests in Poland.
VII Candid Remarks about His Typical Priestly Day...
 |
| Getting his mail at his home in Arlington Heights, Illinois |
"I'm sure your parishioners would truly appreciate knowing more about what a priest does for his salary, I began." We laughed at the tease and again when I pressed him for what the parish pays him . He said $21,000 a year, a standard diocesan salary, with no overtime for weddings, funerals, or unexpected confessions or late hour hospital visits .
"I'm not
a morning person ," he said somewhat apologetically, likely aware that I was at today's weekday Mass
and he had been five minutes late. "I set three alarm clocks for
6 a.m.
but sometimes don't hear them,"
he admitted with a forced grin
After
showering, he has a cup of strong Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Commenting on his java brew, Fr. Joji
Thanugundla, who shares the home with Fr. Chris, told me. "I always tell him the coffee tastes
better when he makes it. And he takes good care of our house and the yard.
"
After
presiding over the 7: 30 a.m. weekday mass,
which he usually does twice a
week, he goes to his home office to check emails. At 8:30 in his
home, Fr. Joji and Fr. Zavaski
and he pray their required Divine Office ( three Psalms, the canticle of Zachariah,
and petitions for families and the deceased whose funerals are that day )
. Fr. Chris doesn't eat breakfast. He's off now to the parish office ; there might be a funeral or a Bible study he leads from 9:30 to 11.
He lunches at home , usually on leftovers from last night's dinner
prepared by the priests' cook, Angie , a parish member who prepares the
meal in Fr. Chris' home. The three
priests eat together. His afternoon may
entail a parish staff meeting from 1 to 3, followed by a one-hour break. Evenings are often occupied with some kind of
church meeting . "Every day is different…. When I'm really fatigued, I tell the office I won’t be back for an hour
and then I just go to my room and rest,
unless I have a funeral or have promised to see someone. "
He finds the
late evening hours the best time to prepare for Mass the next day. In the summer, he enjoys
the "inspiration" of insect sounds at night. In the
"Magnificat ," a monthly subscription
missal read by Catholics throughout America , he reads a meditation before going to bed. Lastly, he prays the following:
Thank you God for this day. Give me the
strength for
another day and
keep all my friends and my family in
your care.
At this particular interview , Fr.
Chris extended his hand to me. "You see this ring on my finger? It's a
Rosary ring my mother gave me when I entered the seminary in Poland. Many
times while falling asleep, I touch this
ring and say the Rosary and pray to my Holy Mother in heaven. I also remember
my mother on earth. "
Looking at
the ring again, Fr. Chris' voice rose an octave as he explained what role the ring plays at weddings. During
the ceremony, he takes it off and
cautions the groom never to take off his ring as a convenient excuse to feel
free from his marriage vows for an hour or two
when out with the men some night
at a bar. "Keep it on and you will be free of temptation," Fr. Chris exhorts the groom.
He hears
confessions from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. on Saturdays in the parish
center." Many times though, people
just telephone me and ask if they can seen me." He views a confession
"more like a friendship, a conversation between someone I don't know but
to whom I must relate." Most of the
people he sees in the confessional booth are St. James members and of all ages;
men slightly outnumber women , and he rarely hears a confession from a
teenager. Many confessions
begin with a question about morality
or a request for advice on daily living, like: "Father, I'm not sure I'm on the right
path " or the question: "Did I
say the wrong thing to my spouse ?"
With marital problems, Fr. Chris keeps people focused on love and marriage vows. Fr. Chris himself goes to
confession twice a year: at Christmas and Easter. For private prayers and meditation he
occasionally drives to the church at Marytown in Mundelein and walks the grounds amid the beautifully
landscaped Stations of the Cross.
VIII Up Close and Personal
Recreation.…"I'm
reading Jesus of Nazareth by Pope
Benedict . " He also reads the magazines "Archeology"
and " Discover ". He loves
barbecued ribs and seldom goes out to eat because , he says, "I have a great cook. " Once every
three weeks or so he gets a haircut in Mundelein from a woman barber whose been
cutting his hair since his seminary days there. A camping trip to
Yellowstone National Park was his
favorite vacation in America, but
"next time I'll stay in a hotel. "
Friends…When
he needs to "vent," he telephones former classmates or talks to Fr.
Zavaski , whom he considers a close
friend "to whom I can open up
to…whether he agrees with me or not, he has that gift of listening well. "
Says his home-sharer , Fr. Joji: " Father Chris and I laugh, we share, we
discuss—all in good spirit. He is
friendly and very responsible."
Another close friend, Sr. Joanne Grib of the nearby Sisters of the Living Word convent, describes
him as " a deeply spiritual man who has a deep respect for all people .
He's a gentle , kind man who is a
dedicated priest . We have a lot of laughs together. " With a laugh she added: "We both love movies, and as much as we'd like to
go to a movie together, we wouldn’t want
to scandalize the parishioners."
Sr. Joanne consults with Fr. Chris when organizing her Bible classes.
Political leanings… He chuckles at this ,
then thoughtfully comments: " I try to follow what the candidates are
saying and disagree with them sometimes.
Does he favor Democrats or Republicans ?
" A little of both," he answered.
Milestones
in his life…The many people who have "helped me see the
way in life. "
Celibacy…
" When I visit my family in Poland and see my nephews running around, it
is sometimes painful knowing I can not
have biological children. But I married the church."
Major
needs of St. James parishioners…That "they experience the presence of
God in their lives and the treasure of the Catholic church. " He is
working with the parish council on the issue of parishioners needing to learn
more about their faith. This is not an
easy task, he explained, because of the mix among parishioners who are traditionalists ( those who want to see the church return to
some of the pre-Vatican II practices )
and of modernists ( those
who want greater freedom in how they
express their faith ).
What
disturbs him as a priest…Church leaders—both clergy and laity—who openly
criticize Cardinal George and others in high leadership positions without
knowing all the facts about an issue. It saddens him when people don't
proclaim Jesus Christ as head of the
church but would rather proclaim themselves or their own particular church as
the final word.
Agreement
with what the church teaches… He has personal opinions but chooses to "obey " church
teachings. ( After this interview, Fr. Chris during his homily at
next morning's Mass , exhorted
everyone to go home and think about
their "obedience to Christ , "
not to obey what they personally
prefer to obey. He cautioned his parishioners that
although people interpret church
teachings differently , due in part to the natural changing of human language as time passes, the spiritual
language of the church remains the same and is universal. )
What
drives him…" I'm trying to be as humble as I can.
I hope people don't read me as arrogant.
I just want to present Christ the best I can as a young priest.
" Again his words seem to echo
those of St. Escrivá : A priest is no
more a man or a Christian than any ordinary lay person. That is why it is so important for a priest to be deeply humble
.
IX How He Battles Against Satan...
Fr.
Chris is candid about his own
temptations. " Sometimes there are
doubts about things you do , things that make you sort of empty." When this occurs, he is helped by meditating
on the life of the saint, Padre Pio, who helped many people battle
evil. " I know I am
vulnerable …and sometimes I pray again and again in that moment of temptation,
asking God to give me wisdom and strength. After I have been victorious in
overcoming the temptation, then the
important thing is that I be grateful to
God. "
Our interviews
of several hours ended with Fr. Chris relating what he described as his
"worst experience ever of doubting the
presence of God in his life." He
grew increasingly emotional as he told
the story of when his youngest sister, Anette, 23, flew
from Poland to visit him in May, 2010.
Fr. Chris had
been summoned to the immigration office
at O'Hare, where his sister was being
held and disallowed from entering this
country despite possessing a legitimate visa.
She had landed at 4 p.m. and had been interrogated while detained five
hours before Fr. Chris arrived ;
he was not allowed to see his
sister, who was being held in an adjacent room.
Fr. Chris was
promptly accused of lying to immigration officials two years ago when
he requested that the
two-month visiting permit of his
sister, who was then visiting him , be extended five months. The reason for it, he had told
officials, was that he needed his sister
to care for him while recovering from a broken
ankle suffered in a recent automobile accident in front of the church. The extension was
granted, but officials now were accusing him of concealing the fact that the real reason for the extension was to give his sister ample time to find
employment in America. Fr. Chris denied the accusation.
Knowing that
he and his sister—he was never allowed to see her—were separated by a wall and
that he was absolutely helpless to do anything for her, was perhaps the most agonizing moment in his
life , he said . " They didn't even
tell me that they were going to put her
back on the plane to Poland for another ten-hour flight . And they did !
"
He went home . " I cried like a kid, asking
God : Where were You? " I
doubted that God existed if he could
allow that to happen." He said he burned with anger from the unfairness , the insensitivity , the
gross mistrust of those particular government employees.
"For the first time in my life I was so
weak. Then I looked up at the crucifix
on my bedroom wall .
In that moment of pain, I
realized how helpless Christ was when he hung there on His cross, helpless like
I was. I offered up all my pain to him then and knew it was a victorious
moment."
"I try now to
visit my family every year, " he avows. "
At his
farewell mass at St. James on June 3,
2012 , the choir sang in Polish, " Radujcie sie w Panu " ( Rejoice in
the Lord ) . Fr. Chris then addressed the congregation: "You
welcomed me at my first mass here as a stranger and then loved me as your
own." Diane Adam , a veteran St. James
volunteer, described Fr. Chris as a "living example of Christ in our
lives."
In 2012 Fr. Christ was assigned as associate
pastor at St. Thomas Becket church in the adjacent suburb of Mt. Prospect and became its
pastor three years later . The church has 300 registered families
and conducts a Sunday and a weekday mass
in Polish. He says he has no regrets about not being a priest in Poland, "I am a happy priest in America . "
The priest is a man anointed by
tradition to shed
blood ,
not as soldier, through courage, not as
the
magistrate, through justice, but as Jesus
Christ ,
through love. The priest is a man of
sacrifice; by it, each day , reconciling heaven
and earth , and by it, each day,
announcing to
every
soul the primordial truths of life , of
death, and of resurrection .
--Fr.
Henri-Dominique, O.P.
The End
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