Reported by Robert R. Schwarz
Marriage is that relationship between man and woman
in which the independence is equal, the dependence
mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. ( Louis Anspacher,
in an address in Boston, Dec. 30, 1934 )
In 2017, my wife Mary Alice and I took a deserved get-away to Muskegon , Michigan; it meant no cleaning or cooking for her and , for me, the absence of emails and phone calls from solicitors who dodge the Illinois do- not- call registry. " We took the six-hour drive from Chicago …[Note: We emailed this bog post on Jan. 3, 2023 to Barbara and Fred. They really appreciated the gesture. The couple now enjoy retired life in Pebble Creek , Florida, along with their dogs, Victoria and Oscar. "We are loving them to pieces, " she said. Then she added, "You can't imagine, though how much I miss our Bed and Breakfast place. "]
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| Fred and Barb with pets Oscar and Victoria outside their B&B in Muskegon , Michigan |
With Muskegon Lake now lapping waves a few hundred yards behind us (Lake Michigan was three miles away) , we were gazing at the porch of the Port City Victorian Inn, enjoying an architect's romantic dream of a Victorian mansion. It was built by a lumber baron in 1858 whose will left tons of money to the Muskegon community in gratitude for the tons of trees he had cut down in that area.
We were here to sleep past six a.m. and to embrace raw nature and maybe shop a bit. Nevertheless, by habit as a journalist, I had packed my camera and voice recorder, yet hoping I'd see nothing that would compel me to take notes or click my camera. That hope would soon be dashed.
We were ushered in by Barbara Schossau , who with her husband Fred, own and manage the
Victorian Inn. Barb (Fred called her that ) is a cheerful lady , and she greeted us with raised arms and a "hallelujah, thank God you found our place !".
In the dining room with my suitcase still in hand, I glanced at a plaque on the wall that read: CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE, THE UNSEEN GUEST IN EVERY ROOM. I was surprised to see such an evangelical profession in a resort. Well, with a quick thought about the theme of my Internet blog ( Exodus Trekkers ) about those ancient Hebrews who trekked across an endless desert to flee bondage, I asked Barb, "How serious how you about what that plaque says?" Mary Alice frowned at my question.
" Very," Barb said , obviously anxious to reply.
Her husband , Fred , suddenly entered the room carrying a screwdriver and a cell phone. " The rug people will be here at nine tomorrow , Barb. Okay ? " He flashed a polite smile at my wife and me.
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| Barb in her kitchen |
Barb and Fred, as we eventually observed, were meant to have their very own B&B. She is 79, attractive, a white-haired and a vigorous conversationalist with her guests ,She had been multi-tasking in this five-bedroom home . Fred is 68, a storyteller about Muskegon history who brings low-keyed humor to the guest breakfast table . He was especially busy this week using the handyman skills he learned as a director of facilities for a Michigan school district. A metal plate supports one of his shoulders, owing to some tough labor he had as a youth in a steel factory.
Fred and Barb returned to their chores, and May Alice and I sat down in the living room where we were greeted by two Yorkshire Terriers, Victoria and Oscar; we had been advised that the dogs were friendly but attention-demanding . Victoria and Oscar were cute and fluffy and very small (bite-size for a hungry fox). Oscar kept trying to jump up on my lap but couldn't quite make it. "Doesn’t he know by now that he can't do it," I whispered to Mary Alice.
"Pick him up," my wife said. I did, and Oscar quickly cuddled on my lap. Each time I paused my petting, the dog clawed at my hand, demanding more affection.
Victoria made a successful leap onto my wife's lap but was shooed away. Mary Alice, being an artist and art teacher, wanted no distraction from her current visual intimacy with the Victorian-era antiques around us, such as embroidered chairs, love seats, lamp shades with dangling lace, and ceramic statuary imported from Germany ( Fred had ancestry there). Mary Alice's eyes also scanned prints on the walls of famous Victorian-era oil paintings, several depicted Biblical themes. My eye, when not on Oscar's demanding paw, went to the beveled glass windows, a hundred-year-old clock (I saw Fred later wind it) , and the staircase spindles and flooring made of natural oak wood.
Twenty minutes later, we were in our room upstairs where each square foot of the room reflected some aspect of Christianity. I fell asleep that night wondering how to get Fred and Barb to talk about their faith life. their that religious plaque on the wall. I had met a few people in life who, for self-serving motives, advertised themselves as Christians, something I soon saw did not apply to these two.
***
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| Fred winding his 100-year-old clock |
That night after dinner, Mary Alice and I retired to the living room , along with Oscar and Victoria and the dogs' still insatiable need for affection. Barb soon joined us , apologizing for all the renovation commotion and catching her breath from her day-long labors.
"I never thought of turning this home into a B-and-B," Barb said, "but the real estate agent kept talking about the history of this house and soon had me thinking about tearing down walls." She mentioned a few notable guests of their B&B that included a French ambassador and a psychiatrist wearing an earring and who pulled up in his motorcycle and immediately hugged Barb at first sight, exclaiming, "You must be Barb! "
A few minutes later Fred sat down, and the four of us became good listeners and candid conversationalists. Little by little, we, who were strangers to each yesterday, were now friends.
Fred and Barb told us they had been married 26 years, without children; a previous marriage by both had blessed Fred with three sons and a daughter, 14 grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren; for Barb, it was three sons and a daughter, 13 grandchildren, and 15 great grandchildren.
I asked Barb what, if anything, made her sad. "I wish that I had spoken up more when young. I never felt loved by Mom and regret not talking to her about it."
"Nothing makes me sad, " Fred said. He saw my expression of disbelief and added, "I find things saddening, like all the bad news in the world. I don't like ISIS, and I'm glad we have a president who wants to eradicate it. That's a noble goal. "
" So, then what makes you two happy? " I asked.
"The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is thank the Lord for a new day," Fred said, then paused for a thought. "And also, a good dinner made by Barb. She's an excellent cook . "
" What about you, Barb?"
" Getting along with my husband, " she said with a mock smile.
We laughed.
"We never get angry, Just upset, " Barb said.
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| One of the many Victorian-era art pieces in our BandB living room |
He and Barb courted for two years.
Fred said his life was influenced by Vernon McGee , an old time radio preacher and ordained Presbyterian minister who , with his Thru the Bible Radio Network program, took his listeners from Genesis to Revelation in two and a half years. Fred would listen to them in his car while on lunch break from his steel factory job.
Barb quickly chimed in: " I was attracted to Fred because the very first time I saw him, he was carrying a Bible ." " Thereafter, I couldn't put the Bible down. "
" What's kept our marriage going for 26 years ?" Quipped Fred. " She's a pretty girl. ( Barb liked hearing that. ) And I love her. I've been blessed to be with this lady." (She liked that even more.)
Barb offered this: "And tips for newly weds ? Don't give up. Just keep on struggling. Any time you're down or depressed, tell the Lord to take it away. She spiked her advice with humor for marriage veterans: " We just yell at each other back and forth. You finally let it go , and tomorrow is a new day, you know. "
It was Fred's turn again : " Follow the path of the Lord. Barb and I have that common goal . It's not always happy or jubilant, but we stay steadfast, and we do it."
Perhaps the biggest bump in the Schossau's marriage was those 15 years Fred was on the road with his work as a hospital engineer. Though Barb closed the BandB during winter to be wherever her husband was, Fred divided his four-weeks of employment vacation by coming home on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday. Barb chuckled when asked if she ever got lonely . " No, " she replied with mock defiance. " I was too busy working. .He would call me on weekends and say, ' Barb, I miss you…when do I see you. ? ' I'd answer, Fred, I don't even have time to talk. I've got rooms to clean." Then , Barb related, she would turn up the phone's speaking volume and lay it on the bed or chair and talk to Fred as she continued working.
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| In their living room during our conversations |
I asked Fred what role does religion play in his marriage . Before he could reply, Barb said, " As a child, I grew up in the Catholic church, but in my first marriage , we never went to church, and I miss that. I was a very broken girl when I first met Fred. He has taught me so much. "
Fred told me he used to hold a Bible class in their BandB living room. " Really? " I said. "How did that come about ? "
" Well, one day as we came from the kitchen to serve several guests at the table, I was pleasantly surprised to see everyone all holding hands and praying. "
Fred offered no details other than telling me all the guests had been strangers to each other at the time of their arrival . He doesn't know what prompted their prayer. He did explain, however, that he doesn't talk about religion to any guest unless "they invite it " , and then he will be tactfully outspoken (especially regarding his faith in Jesus) and respectful of whatever their faith or denomination is.
When I again asked him about his personal religious beliefs, he replied, " I don't have a religion. I've always been non-denominational. " He and Barb attend the community Celebration Church in Muskegon. In a more conversational tone, he added: " Jesus is the absolute reason I live. I talk to Him day and night. He's constantly on my mind, and I read His word almost every day. "
We talked for at least three hours , past our bed times and way past that of the dogs'. Fred's antique clock chimed at least six times .
" Fred has taught me so much," Barb said with an apologetic yawn. "And how we are to relate to the world as Christians? "
Fred put closure on our evening with his opinion that all of us were living in the end days of this world . I nodded.
***
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| Fred and Barb wanted a snapshot of the journalist and his wife |
I was holding my wife's hand as we were crossing Lake Michigan on a car ferry heading home via Milwaukee when I told her, "Honey, Barb and Fred and you and I are different in several ways. But as for me, I do believe you and I have something in common that's awfully important about love and marriage. "
She questioned me with, "And?"...
Her smile waited for that perfect reply from me.
I, too, smiled, and said: "I read the other day that love is at the very heart of existence. "
Mary Alice squeezed my hand.
On Sunday, Dec. 31: Read an indepth,
well-researched report that answers:
How Do I as a Christian, Answer the Question, What Is My Real Purpose in Living?
The End
All comments are welcome.
rrschwarz777@Gmail.com
© 2017, 2023 Robert R. Schwarz
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