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3/31/24

The Butterfly and a Pilgrim’s Question






                                      
                                               
 

                                          Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer

                                           is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day
                                           
                                           by day. (2 Corinthians 4: 16, 17)                                         

                                         

 

                                         And we know that in all things, God works for the good 

                                        of those who love him, who have been called according 

                                       to his purpose.  (Romans 8: 28)

 


A Report by Robert R. Schwarz


     I write this report like an aging wagon train scout anxious to tell what he’s seen on the trail and hoping it will be helpful to all who read it. It’s a little metaphysical, I’m afraid. Also, I could not ignore the rules I still obey as lifelong journalist nor the strong memories  of my stay  at the Mississippi abbey, nor my walk through the Breedonk Nazi concentration camp, nor a few of my other world travels as a leadership development manager for the world’s largest volunteer organization, Lions Clubs International. Somehow all of it was to be metamorphized into this piece that I seriously thought should include a few words about the Monarch butterfly and the fictional life of Pinocchio. 

I  A few words first about that Disney puppet hero of mine, Pinocchio...Perhaps Mom and Dad took you to the Pinocchio movie, as my mother did; or, you read the book.  To refresh your memory: Pinocchio was a puppet carved joyfully  out of wood  by  a kind and lonely clock-maker, Geppetto. Despite  Pinocchio being  made entirely of wood, he spoke English  quite well and even had a fairy godmother who saw to it that each time this puppet  told a lie, his nose grew longer with each lie. He was blessed with a cricket companion named Jiminy, who spoke to Pinocchio as his  conscience .   Pinocchio was an innocent lad,  except for that  day  when walking to school .

     He was  manipulated into trusting a gang of  young ruffians who sold him to an unscrupulous circus ring master.  Though Pinocchio escaped abusive work as a circus puppet , he was seduced into joining a journey with delinquent youths  to the devilish Paradise Island. Here for hours he and a boy companion  enjoyed a constant paradise  of  rule-breaking fun. But when he saw himself gradually turning into a real  donkey, Pinocchio  fled in terror to the ocean, barely escaping a life of donkey slavery.

            When    Pinocchio  is swallowed by a whale,  he washed down to the whale's belly and there encounters Geppetto,  who was swallowed by the same whale when Geppetto  had set out to find his dearly missed puppet.  Pinocchio and Geppetto are freed from the whale  when it sneezes explosively  from a fire  lit by Geppetto in the whale's belly . Both  swim towards shore ;  Geppetto begins  to  drown , and  Pinocchio saves his master's life.

            The book  resolves  this  oceanic misadventure with  Pinocchio and  Geppetto  returning  home. That same night, as the puppet  sleeps, his  fairy godmother enters Pinocchio's dream and kisses him, saying, " Because of your good heart, I will  forgive you .  Boys who take care of their parents  [ like  Geppetto ]  and help them when they are  old and suffering deserve praise and affection, even if they have not been obedient and good. "


            When Pinocchio  awakes the next morning, he sees that he has become a live, human boy.   Across the bedroom he sees his former self, a wooden  puppet with dangling  arms and  legs  and a drooping head.  The book’s authorCarlo Collodinow closes his tale with:    "Then with great satisfaction,  Pinocchio said to himself,  ' How ridiculous I was  when I  was a puppet ! And how  happy I am to have become a real boy! ' " .

            For years I, a pilgrim here on Earth, would be pestered by the question, for what purpose did God  create me? But when I knew what it was,  I  was wonderfully grateful for it.





II Enter the Monarch ...A few years later while interviewing a nearby neighbor about her eye-catching garden, she told me her hobby was caring for two bushes that attracted butterflies. “I snip off the chrysalis of the Monarch and give it to the neighbor children, " she told me. "They delight in seeing a caterpillar inside that chrysalis slowly come out , now being transformed into a Monarch butterfly. “

   She saw my eyes widen and said: “Would you like to take a chrysalis home with you?“

  Two weeks later I was sitting at home at my office desk staring at a small greenish capsule-like object that clung to a twig inside a cage.   Nine days later ,  I saw a dark colored object inside the chrysalis ; it was the Monarch's wings, folded alongside its body.   Next day I was up once more at 5 a.m., waiting like a wet nurse for the climatic scene of a   caterpillar's metamorphosis...A minute later I reminded myself that I had spent nine months in my mother’s belly— waiting for my birth. .


    When the butterfly began slowly struggling to free itself from its birth chamber , I was tempted to  help it but then said no--let nature handle this. For the next hour I  watched  the Monarch  unfold itself millimeter by millimeter as its body juices filled its wings.

  I called for my wife, Mary Alice, and carried the cage out to our backyard where  I pulled out the twig on which the emerged butterfly now clung and placed the Monarch on the palm of my hand . It was motionless for several minutes , then launched  itself into flight. We  watched it  soar off  over our  sunflowers and a few sapling trees  and into a sun-lit   blue sky .  Mary Alice  and I turned to each other with smiles.  "It's free!" she  said.

 This scene and my wife’s words I believe, formed a kind of memory chrysalis in my mind, for when the sight  of  this butterfly was now just a silhouetted speck in the sky above us, I said, "You know what I'm thinking right now, dear …it's that bit of Scripture which  says 'though our outer body may be gradually decaying, our inner body, our soul is being renewed day by day. " My wife nodded  


III Freedom Expressed in the “Chrysalis” of a Nazi Prison...In the summer of 2017, Mary Alice and I were in the  "Resistance Museum” in Warsaw , Poland , staring in sad silence  at butterfly etchings made during World War II by prisoners of the Nazi death camp at Breendonk , Belgium. We had recently seen the remains of that camp and also the hellish exhibits of Auschwitz at the Warsaw Uprising Museum. For hours we shuffled our feet through dimly-lit narrow corridors . We stood still , looking at the nightmarish  reminders of the years of  brutal murdering and  ineffable suffering which the Nazi army  had inflicted upon innocent people since  invading Poland in 1939.

    Somehow, whenever through the years I would visit a jail as a reporter for the Chicago City News Bureau, scenes of these death camps would flash through my mind, sometimes followed so strangely  by another flash of that fetal caterpillar in a chrysalis I once cared for. I asked myself, what can a Monarch butterfly tell us about human life and dearth ?...  Enter the metaphysical!


IV The Butterfly  and God  at the Mississippi Abbey... My trek to know in a dynamic way how to relate to my triune family of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit neared the finish line in the wilds of nature at the Mississippi Abbey outside Dubuque,  Iowa. I had just finished a talk in the abbey with Sister Gail about the gift of humanhood, a gift so   easily taken for granted . I told her I was anxious to stroll through the abbey's square mile of   seemingly unending  pastures, prairies, and  things growing wild all over. .  "Go stroll then." She said smiling. 

            I walked down to the abbey  barn  and  past a vegetable garden with its  tidy  cultivated crop that provided  salads  for the abbey’s 19 Cistercian sisters. Posted in the middle of the garden was a  weathered sign with four words painted in white: "Where Angels  Tread."  I swung open a  wide wire gate and was greeted by a panorama of ripening wheat, chest-high  corn, and alfalfa . Beyond this were uninhabited   woodlands ,  and beyond that was   rolling land that gracefully met the  Mississippi River bluffs a few miles away.

Walking slowly  down a  wide dirt  path shaped by years of tractor wheels running over it, I paused to gaze at a  sky  puffed with white clouds and soaring  birds—mostly  orioles— which kept flushing  up from  patches of  wild  flowers.  My eyes winked  from sunlight glistening from the  lower leaves of corn  still wet with morning dew . Mother Nature was enchanting me  as she did  years ago when , on a camera safari with  my late wife , we  drove all day across a  wild  Zimbabwe plain.

             I could not turn away from the sight of   white and  blue  butterflies and grasshoppers   flitting among  the  tall weeds and thistles  that hugged  my path . There was  the faint orchestration of cricket sounds ,  and in my mind  read  a paragraph or two   from Canticle of the Creatures penned in the 12th Century by Saint Francis, known for his mystical love of animals . In  this blissful moment I faintly heard  him crying out his noted   canticle of praise for Brother Sun, Sister Moon, Brother Wind, Sister Water, and Brother Fire. 

             I sat  down , allowing  tall prairie grass to blanket me . Never had I felt so intimate with  Nature .  I prayed  Psalm 23 and, for a brief moment ,  I yearned to   become an indissoluble part of all this nature. That was when  I saw a  Monarch butterfly alit on a nearby milkweed plant. That same intimate  question of mine began demanding an answer: For what purpose did God  create me ?  Curiosity and an analytical mind had  blessed me as a journalist but  now was conflicted with  my desire to  live a  more simple life without soul-nagging questions I couldn't answer. 

 I left the abbey that day  with  intense restlessness  and , of course, a Monarch butterfly etched upon on my mind


V  A Mother’s Poem Answers a Pilgrim’s QuestionWhy do I consider my self a pilgrim? For one thing, I enjoy the adventure of being a pilgrim who  loves to explore the wilds of life; it  makes me feel that I’m on some  important and  uniquely important mission. Yet, there are lingering moments when I feel absolutely lost on this mission, friendless and alone, repeating to God please stay with me! I move  impatiently for a home I know nothing about...waiting and waiting, so cramped in my human chrysalis  as a pilgrim of good will.



   The other day I retrieved this poem written by my other a few days after she gave birth to my younger brother Lester. She wrote it in her baby's journal, I believe, as a dialogue between mother and child . She was 21 , and it was the only poem she ever penned .I had not read it in many years. When I did this time, the question, for what purpose did God create me had no answer.  I prayed hard that night.




By Dorothy Elenor Schwarz

Where did you come from, Baby dear?

“Out of the Everywhere into here…”


Where did you get those eyes so blue?

Out of the sky as I came through.


What makes the light in them sparkle and spin ?

Some of the starry spikes I let in.


What makes your cheek like a warm white rose?

I see something better than anyone knows.


Where did you get this pearly ear ?

God spoke, and it was made to hear.


Where did you get those arms and hands?

Love itself made those arms and hands.


But how did you come to us, you dear ?

God thought about you, and so I am here.



The End

comments welcome  at

rrschwarz777@gmail.com 

 © 2017, 2022, 2024 Robert R. Schwarz

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