On Sunday, March 6:
A Woman Who Walked Boldly
Into Her Night
A Report by Robert R. Schwarz
Writes Pope Francis: "In those parents who raise their children with immense love, in those men and women who work hard to support their families, in the sick, in elderly religious who never lose their smile . In their daily perseverance I see holiness of the Church militant. Very often it is a holiness found in our next-door neighbors , those who living in our midst, reflect God's presence . We might call them 'the middle class of holiness.' "
What follows are glimpses of seven "weak" men and a woman whom the author has known , admired and envied for their steadfast display of strength which, by all accounts, sometimes exceeded human limits of mind, body, and soul. Following this is a profile of a " next door neighbor" of mine, former coffee-time buddy." Some names have been changed.
KARL: Today at age 62, my friend after a life of enduring bipolar disorder, alcohol addiction, osteoporosis and attention deficit disorder (ADD), lives quietly in a government subsidized "rest home" with soul-satisfying memories of overcoming and being healed of these maladies. He rose from rock bottom to help a chaplain give spiritual, emotional, and physical comfort to handicapped adults.
BAPIN: Made deaf when a youth born in India and later blinded by an assault from a crazed school mate, Bapin immigrated to America . He amazingly graduated from the University of Arkansas . He prayed that God would give him there one true friend; God did: it was the donated gift of a Leader Dog for the blind . This led to Bapin being hired as a technology wizard at the Helen Keller School for the Blind and Deaf . After graduation, Bapin married , and his deaf wife bore him a healthy son. In 2015, Bapin began touring the country lecturing on electronic equipment for the blind and the deaf.  |
| Aji with a friend |
HARRY: He has lost everything: janitorial job, family, and all his savings. And from what I recently observed, he also lost his only remaining source of joy; his morning coffee in a café where for years he had loved to chat amiably with customers and, weather permitting, feed bread crumbs to pigeons outside . Harry was exiled from the café because two customers intensely disliked seeing Harry now and then doze off for a few minutes in a rear booth. Harry had often expressed to me his search for truth, his dismay with the selfishness of our culture, and his ardent desire to get closer to God and to better understand the Holy Trinity.
BRUCE: Bruce , a boyhood friend of mine and someone who, by all accounts, never displayed duplicity, died at age 83. I never heard a foul word from his mouth and never a complaint about being in a wheel chair the last few years of his life, despite the Parkinson's disease that made 90 per cent of his speech unintelligible. He never married, lived a bachelor's life, never joined a church, yet weekly joined me in prayers during the several years I visited him at his rehab center. When he was able to speak, he always ended his prayer with: Father , please have us be the people you want us to be. For 35 years he had a spotless record as a clerk in a large retail store, believing that if he simply did the right thing in life, God would take care of the rest. My grace is sufficient for you, for
my power is perfected in weakness
( God speaking to the apostle Paul:
2 Corinthians 12: 9 )
Having Coffee with Ron
Ron is not my
next door neighbor , and I don't know how holy he is. But I am grateful for the coffee-time conversations Ron and I had at a supermarket nook for the two years . (This made me practice some life skills Mom and Dad taught me , such as look
for the good in people , soften your
heart, don't lie and don't quit . )
Interviewing
Ron reminded me of an Army training
sergeant who introduced himself in our barracks and barked: " You will learn not to like me , and I don't
care." Ron's personality vibrates a fierce independence that tolerates no opposition . Yet, the more Ron was himself, the more I felt
obligated (as a journalist then ) to know some facts about his life.
 |
| Ron...keeping in shape |
Ron then was 71, lived alone , never married, and had attended 13 grammar schools in the Chicago area . " We had to move a lot, couldn't pay the
rent…my father was a gambler, " he said . Ron majored in physical education at Southern
Illinois University ( " I flunked
out twice" ) , and at age 23
joined the U.S. Marine Corps ,
spending two years as an enlisted man (
" I was not important
" ) . Life after the Corps for Ron
became decades of odd jobs in several
states until a stroke forced him to retire . He limps now and is passionate about keeping physically fit ; his forearms exude strength and look like ham
hocks . He frequents a gym and pedals his bicycle back and forth in all weather .
In our coffee nook the morning of our interview, I noted Ron's profile: he's maybe five-foot-ten and balding, usually has four-day-old white whiskers, and often wears a sweat shirt,
sweat pants, and tennis shoes.
" Ron , " I said, " I need to
ask just a few more questions to clarify a few things you told me ."
"
Shoot," he replied.
I read him my
notes.
His replies
were:
" I
didn’t say that! Lies ! Don’t make me out to
be religious! You got
it all wrong !"
Chuck
Williams, Ron's coffee mate at our table, showed discomfort and left .
 |
| With another coffee buddy , Chuck Williams |
My retort to
Ron was, " Listen , my friend, I'm
not your press agent !" Ron gave me
a Cheshire cat grin . I got up and concealed my irritation by convincing myself
this was just another assignment given
me by a ( now deceased ) editor of the Chicago City News Bureau. "See
you later, Ron. I've got some shopping
here to do for my wife. " Common
sense said that continuing to
interview Ron would be a mistake.
That night I was prompted to read my
interview notes:
Ø What Ron learned
about life while in the Marine Corps was to "shut your mouth and keep your eyes straight ahead ." He also learned how to fire a 105 millimeter howitzer .
Ø Ron's retirement
, he said, was "not what I had
entirely planned . But I still can
do most of the things I did
before."
Ø Ron started a career as a house painter
and "anything else you could think
of. " After that he "went into diversified things like
carpentry and doing that kind of stuff."
Ø The occasional
angry temperament some see in Ron, he
believes, is ignited by "people talking about foolish, stupid
things. "
Ø Being with his sister's family, especially at their annual family picnic , makes him happy, but "jokes don't make me laugh "
Ø He has had a life-time passion for
keeping physically fit at a gym and has a keen interest in champion gymnasts, particularly U.S. Olympiads . "It makes
me move and feel better . You look at people and say, ' Oh, they look good '
or 'they don't look good . ' " ( He
laughed. )
Ø For recreation Ron goes to the library to " look up a lot of things that I
never learned before, things I see
on television."
Ø
He doesn’t cook much but makes " simple things like
sandwiches. "
When
on another day when Chuck had seen me
frowning during Ron's volley of objections to my notes, Chuck thought I needed to hear a few
positive words about Ron , like: "
Ron has overcome a lot of obstacles that
I think some people couldn't, " he said. "Ron works hard in overcoming them. And he's
really good at offering suggestions to people who have things that need to be
fixed. "
Chuck's comments made me think of the time when
Ron kindly suggested that if I wanted to improve my hunching back, I should wear one of those super-wide abdomen belts like he
wore. It kindled my desire to
reach the inner Ron.
But how?
"You've got to create…something coming down to you "
At 7:55 a.m. on April 15, 2018 , I
walked from my car through a
cold-weather rain into the Mariano's supermarket and sat down with Chuck and four other men at our usual
table. As usual, all heads were bowed to either the Chicago
Tribune or the Daily Herald. Except for an occasional grumble over a
sports score or a hike in gasoline price, silence was
male-honored protocol here . But now the
men opened a long debate over the price of a 1961 Corvette. It ended, of course, in total , animated disagreement .
Four men left,
leaving Ron and me. I wanted to speak
words that segue peacefully to another interview . Picking up one of the newspapers spread over our table and
pretending to read it, I nonchalantly asked
Ron , " What's your personal legacy
to be Ron ? "
"
This story you're writing. If it's
good , " he growled like that of that Army training sergeant .
We returned to
our newspapers .
Ron's eyes widened as he watched two children frolicking around a nearby table
like two monkeys . Ron's face showed uninhibited delight. It was not the same Ron .
The challenge
now was to engage Ron in my last
interview topic : the spiritual dimension of his life. I feared , however, that if
my first question did not reflect a sincere caring attitude about him, Ron would shut down this interview as he once did before.
I went back to
my newspaper and , without looking up ,
asked Ron (as if an answer wasn't
important ), "Hey, Ron , you by chance
got a favorite Bible verse ? "
It actually incited Ron to reveal
some of his interior life .
"Only one
, I can recall," he said. "John 3:l6 . The only one I
ever learned, and I was sixteen years old. "
Because Ron had told me some time ago he did not own a Bible , I recited John 3:16, one of the few verses I knew word for word because my family and I had read it time after time on two large bill boards while driving up on vacation to the Wisconsin North Woods: For God so loved the world that He
gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life .
"
And that verse has significance for you, Ron ? "
"
Well, somewhat…when I think about it. "
I
went for the big one. " Tell me, Ron, what do you strongly believe in?"
Ron spoke with long pauses between his thoughts.
"
I don't think about that much…My spiritual thing is much different than
that of most people… It's not going to
church . I don't go. I don't have nothing against it particularly…but I listen
mostly on TV nearly every week to a
different church service …I jump
around a lot…that guy in Oak Brook, he's
pretty good. "
"
What do you get from listening to
him, " I asked?
"I don’t know for sure about him…
but some of those
people in that Bible book he talks about , I see their characteristics in some people I
know... But I'm not so much connected to God , like you wanted me to
say."
Ron
went to the washroom. I had no more questions in mind and trusted in the Holy
Spirit to help me climax this interview. When Ron returned to our table, I leaned close and said, " Ron, I feel you are a man of faith. "
"You
know my struggle is not really a struggle ," he said. "I put one foot
in front of the other. "
"You seem like a good strong man," I
said—and meant it.
" All the house moving I
did, I think that made me
stronger. It didn't make me a lot of
money or a secure place to live all the time
, but that's my life, and I'm happy with it. "
"Do
you pray? "
"No."
"
Any reason why? "
"I
do a lot of thinking…."
Suddenly
Ron erupted with his characteristic anger and commitment to independence at any cost : "You have to get things for yourself ! If
you think that by praying , you're going
to get something from God, how are you gonna get it from somebody else? You
gotta get it from yourself ! "
I recoiled from Ron's words. They echoed a boastful, rebellious mantra
of mine from high school days: Each man his own God ! is
what I would proclaim to my buddies . My journalistic , emotional
detachment from this interview now wobbled and, feeling patriotically
Christian, I vented
my feelings to Ron: "There
isn’t a pastor in a Christian church in
America who would agree with that! "
"I
don't care , " Ron said defiantly. .
"
I know you don't, " I answered, equally defiant--and angry with
myself. " You know , Ron, you do know, don't you, that 'God is that guy who created the moon, the earth and the sun—and you say, you say, He can't do ANYTHING for Ron? Come on
! You know better . "
Both of us
were silent. Then I retreated a bit meekly into my mother's exhortation to look for
the good in people and soften my heart.
"God
lives all over, Ron , " I said. "He's
all powerful. "
"I agree
with that kind of thinking. But is He human" ?
More silence . We both welcomed it when Ron joked , " Now sounds like I'm interviewing you."
We laughed . "Ron, I know you believe that God's Son , Jesus , was both human as well as divine.
 |
| Some times we listened more than we talked |
"Yeah,
yeah, I know that ," Ron said , trying hard to mute a growl of consent .
What he said
next was firm and sincere , as if the words had broke free from a
mind cluttered with years of pseudo-religious stuff dumped there by our culture .
Ron voiced his proclamation : "You've
got to create , somehow , something coming down to you, a thought that you want something important ! "
We
were finally connecting . I was on Ron's side now .
"Ron,
in a strange way, you're right, you're absolutely right . And , if you don't mind, friend, I'm going to leave you with this word from the
Bible: We don't walk by sight but by faith--and I added,
" and from our faith, Ron, flows our good works. "
"
You know, that's somewhat the same thing
I sometimes think about while falling
asleep in bed," Ron said.
"You
are a man of faith and I admire you ," I said.
"So,
in other words, I don't have to pray out loud. "
We
parted— for now.
Holiness
Found in Our Next-Door Neighbor
Days later when I began to outline this report, I realized
Ron was different from anyone I had ever interviewed in America or overseas.
Different from a Christian perspective. How
different ? I got a clue from a
newspaper column in the National Catholic Register ( April 10-14 , 2018 )
written by Ilyas Khan, a convert from Islam and chairman
of the Stephen Hawking Foundation. I was
surprised to read how Khan presumed there was
Christian blood running through Hawking , a well-known atheist ( and a celebrated physicist
) who was wretchedly disabled for years , needing robot-like aids to
speak and move. What caught my eye,
however, was Khan quoting Hawking saying: And however difficult life may seem,
there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you never
just give up.
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| With Bob Schwarz at coffee |
The End
comments welcome at
rrschwarz7@wowway.com
© 2018, 2022 Robert R. Schwarz
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