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| The Madden's on Dad's birthday (with a few in-laws ) . Al is at the wheel, Gail at his right |
(originally posted in March, 2012 and partially re-edited since)
The family is an integral structure of society and the primary
means for individuals to experience the reality of God.
What vehicle is more powerful to invite us into loving relationships,
relationships where we actually come to know God because we are
cherished, because we belong, because there are human arms to
embrace and hold us, because others do not give up on us despite our
shortcomings, where forgiveness heals, and where joy and laughter
create memories that bind? …JoAnne Mullen-Muhr, former director
of faith formation, St. James Church, Arlington Heights, Illinois .
" I adore the Madden family…one of our best
faith-filled parishioners. "... Diane Adams
When asked again in 2019 for her goals in raising her family, Gail Madden summed up her life story of marriage, motherhood, and the family's bond to religious faith. Smiling, she said, "Our goal to make it through the day and enjoy it." Making it through the day for Gail and husband Al has meant years of finding quality time for their eight children and for the entire family's commitments to their St. James Parish in Arlington Heights, Illinois, a middle class suburb northwest of Chicago. The eight children today include two physicians, a son, Brian and daughter, Kathleen; Paul, an attorney in Nashville; Mark who works in marketing in Detroit; Jeff, a recent college graduate now employed in Cincinnati; and three other daughters: Rachel, now in a history doctorate program at Loyola University in Chicago; Julie, an elementary school teacher today at home raising four children; and Emily, a high school junior. There are six grandchildren (two more added in 2021). And there was a 17-year-old Korean boy whom the Maddens took into their home while he attended high school; and we'd better mention Brenna, a black and feisty Terrier who, when alive, guarded the family home.
No wonder another major goal of Dad was and still is, "to get everybody through school." Today Al is a 68-year-old pension fund lawyer for the Teamsters Union. Gail, five years his junior, has been a registered nurse for almost 40 years. Besides her unending list of church volunteer activities, she works part time for an agency that serves the disadvantaged and once a week she's at the retirement community of Luther Village in Arlington Heights. For the past 35 years the Maddens have lived a block from their church in a two-floor home with a mortgage that has been refinanced "several times but now it's finally paid off ," Gail said. "It was Al's 65th birthday present."
"We had no time for hobbies," Gail said. "We didn’t go out very often." Then she added with a light-hearted tone, "It was too expensive to take the whole family out for dinner. But now, with the kids out of the house, that's changing. There's more time to go out with friends."
Family and Challenges
We talked about life challenges, and the Maddens were candid, and never holding held back a chuckle or frown. "I just know that God is going to send me only what He knows I can handle," Gail said. "When the kids were little, the challenge was trying to give them all enough time and attention. But even now when they are older it's just as important to stay connected to them."
Al waded with, "We've been very fortunate. We haven't had any big problems with unemployment or health or any economic problems." But during our first interview a few years ago he mentioned that trying to model right behavior for his children while his 90-year-old mother was dying was "rough." So was that, he added, when his brother had an unexpected fatal heart attack while the family was out of town enrolling Paul in college. And Gail mentioned her miscarriage and the time when Jeff had his jaw broken by a fluke baseball hit; and there was that alarming phone call saying Mark had been in a car accident and was now in the hospital with two broken ribs.
Gail and Al first met at a friend's lawn party when Gail was 18, then a student at Loyola University in Chicago. Al was a first-year law student at DePaul University. "I thought she was very nice," Al recalled. Gail quickly countered with, "I thought he was very nice, too." A two and a half- year courtship followed while Al was working part time for a law firm. "I really didn't know what I wanted to do," he said. Though Gail wanted to teach special education for children, she studied for a nursing degree when the demand ebbed for those particular teachers.
Family Fun and Recreation
"We're pretty much on the same page for a lot of things "
The Madden family has a history of all-season hiking in forest preserves, biking on nearby woodsy trails or around Lake Arlington, and being Harry Potter fans. (They have seen all the Potter movies and read all the Potter books). What the Maddens couldn't do outside when the kids were growing up, they did inside their home. It remains a comfy home with traditional furniture and a cheerful ambience. There is a piano with sheet music displayed on it, and on two walls hang family photos and four Impressionistic-style water color paintings done by Al's deceased mother, once an exhibiting artist who also painted family portraits on tombstones. "She also loved to paint barns and farms," Gail noted as we walked together through their home (I had noticed in the kitchen that Al was now baking cookies for the kids, as his father had once done for his family).
The Madden's dining room is a memory of all the games Al and Gail once played with their children--"like when all the chairs would disappear in order to make forts," Gail said. "I'm really very juvenile," Al joked—"well, sort of. I liked to play what kids played, and eight-year-old Emily then was so much fun." ( I think that in that moment Dad was remembering those past basement sounds of a child's scooter and roller skates).
Endless Volunteering
The list of volunteer activities which has engaged the Madden family through the years appears endless. Gail has served as her church's communion and Eucharistic minister aide and annually spent a week with her youth ministry on a mission to St. Malachy's parish in Chicago's inner city; daughter Emily, who since age three had gone there with her mother, now goes on her own and on other mission trips with her father. Al dedicated a vacation week to help his church's youth ministry at the national Catholic Heart Work Camp. Gail and Al were also cleanup volunteers for the St. Vincent DePaul Society's PADS (Public Action to Deliver Shelter ). Since 1989 they have been active members of the Christian Family Movement, a national organization that promotes monthly meetings among parish families to discuss issues of faith. Gail also cooks for some of the church activities, including youth faith groups.
The skills she acquired while sewing clothing for her children she now applies to making quilts and knitting for charity and her own family. As the family grew, everyone would pitch in to serve dinners for the Catholic Charities agency in their area.
When young, the Madden children served as altar servers, and son Jeff was a Eucharistic minister every other week. "We took the kids to Sunday Mass since day one," Gail said. "Al also took kids to reconciliation (confession ) twice a year, and he still goes annually on a Rosary pilgrimage in nearby Des Plaines. He follows up with confession within three weeks."
It was time during our interview to ask the Maddens a few serious questions about their marriage and Christian faith. (We forget to ask though where they got time in their lives for a good night's sleep). Here’s how our conversation went:
Questions about the Madden's Faith and Marriage...
Family Peace Above Personal Desires?
How do you two handle moods, family debates, et cetera ?
Al: I always try to step into her shoes and try to understand her perspective. Then I know where she's coming from, that she has a good heart. That takes care of a lot of issues.
Gail: You're very good at it, too.
Do you ever have a moment when you find it impossible to step into her shoes?
Al (laughing ): Yeah, like sometimes I just don't understand [ her ] . Sometimes I don't think her course of action is correct, but her instincts are so good. She turns out to be right 90 percent of the time. If she really feels strong with something, then we'll go with it.
Gail (looking at Al ): I try to read your mood, and if you're really tired I try not to ask you to do things because you work hard every day and you come home and you're very supportive of us. But I think you're very good about thinking what's the best for all of us….I don't think we have that many disagreements.
(Al agreed with his wife... I interrupted with a joke about the husband debating with his wife, and he has the choice of being right or happy).
What part does faith and religion play in your lives?
Al: I think it gets more important every day…because we're called to be more like
Christ. That's always the focus of what I'm trying to do. Matthew Kelly ( a celebrated Christian author ) says always make the right decision. Lots of time I just feel like sitting around and doing nothing . On the other hand, I'm called [ by God ] to get out of my comfort zone and just do it.
comments welcome at rrschwarz777@gmail.com
The family is an integral structure of society and the primary
means for individuals to experience the reality of God.
What vehicle is more powerful to invite us into loving relationships,
relationships where we actually come to know God because we are
cherished, because we belong, because there are human arms to
embrace and hold us, because others do not give up on us despite our
shortcomings, where forgiveness heals, and where joy and laughter
create memories that bind? …JoAnne Mullen-Muhr, former director
of faith formation, St. James Church, Arlington Heights, Illinois .
" I adore the Madden family…one of our best
faith-filled parishioners. "... Diane Adams
When asked again in 2019 for her goals in raising her family, Gail Madden summed up her life story of marriage, motherhood, and the family's bond to religious faith. Smiling, she said, "Our goal to make it through the day and enjoy it." Making it through the day for Gail and husband Al has meant years of finding quality time for their eight children and for the entire family's commitments to their St. James Parish in Arlington Heights, Illinois, a middle class suburb northwest of Chicago. The eight children today include two physicians, a son, Brian and daughter, Kathleen; Paul, an attorney in Nashville; Mark who works in marketing in Detroit; Jeff, a recent college graduate now employed in Cincinnati; and three other daughters: Rachel, now in a history doctorate program at Loyola University in Chicago; Julie, an elementary school teacher today at home raising four children; and Emily, a high school junior. There are six grandchildren (two more added in 2021). And there was a 17-year-old Korean boy whom the Maddens took into their home while he attended high school; and we'd better mention Brenna, a black and feisty Terrier who, when alive, guarded the family home.
No wonder another major goal of Dad was and still is, "to get everybody through school." Today Al is a 68-year-old pension fund lawyer for the Teamsters Union. Gail, five years his junior, has been a registered nurse for almost 40 years. Besides her unending list of church volunteer activities, she works part time for an agency that serves the disadvantaged and once a week she's at the retirement community of Luther Village in Arlington Heights. For the past 35 years the Maddens have lived a block from their church in a two-floor home with a mortgage that has been refinanced "several times but now it's finally paid off ," Gail said. "It was Al's 65th birthday present."
"We had no time for hobbies," Gail said. "We didn’t go out very often." Then she added with a light-hearted tone, "It was too expensive to take the whole family out for dinner. But now, with the kids out of the house, that's changing. There's more time to go out with friends." Family and Challenges
We talked about life challenges, and the Maddens were candid, and never holding held back a chuckle or frown. "I just know that God is going to send me only what He knows I can handle," Gail said. "When the kids were little, the challenge was trying to give them all enough time and attention. But even now when they are older it's just as important to stay connected to them."
Al waded with, "We've been very fortunate. We haven't had any big problems with unemployment or health or any economic problems." But during our first interview a few years ago he mentioned that trying to model right behavior for his children while his 90-year-old mother was dying was "rough." So was that, he added, when his brother had an unexpected fatal heart attack while the family was out of town enrolling Paul in college. And Gail mentioned her miscarriage and the time when Jeff had his jaw broken by a fluke baseball hit; and there was that alarming phone call saying Mark had been in a car accident and was now in the hospital with two broken ribs.
Recalling these memories made Gail pause and reflect. "I feel sad for people who don't have faith and strength to get through tough times."
"Life for me," Al said, "has been a gradual learning process of making decisions about what best thing reaches my goal of getting my family and myself to heaven."
Outside their home for the last 35 years...and no mortgage !
"Life for me," Al said, "has been a gradual learning process of making decisions about what best thing reaches my goal of getting my family and myself to heaven."
Outside their home for the last 35 years...and no mortgage !
Gail and Al first met at a friend's lawn party when Gail was 18, then a student at Loyola University in Chicago. Al was a first-year law student at DePaul University. "I thought she was very nice," Al recalled. Gail quickly countered with, "I thought he was very nice, too." A two and a half- year courtship followed while Al was working part time for a law firm. "I really didn't know what I wanted to do," he said. Though Gail wanted to teach special education for children, she studied for a nursing degree when the demand ebbed for those particular teachers.
Family Fun and Recreation
"We're pretty much on the same page for a lot of things "
The Madden family has a history of all-season hiking in forest preserves, biking on nearby woodsy trails or around Lake Arlington, and being Harry Potter fans. (They have seen all the Potter movies and read all the Potter books). What the Maddens couldn't do outside when the kids were growing up, they did inside their home. It remains a comfy home with traditional furniture and a cheerful ambience. There is a piano with sheet music displayed on it, and on two walls hang family photos and four Impressionistic-style water color paintings done by Al's deceased mother, once an exhibiting artist who also painted family portraits on tombstones. "She also loved to paint barns and farms," Gail noted as we walked together through their home (I had noticed in the kitchen that Al was now baking cookies for the kids, as his father had once done for his family).
The Madden's dining room is a memory of all the games Al and Gail once played with their children--"like when all the chairs would disappear in order to make forts," Gail said. "I'm really very juvenile," Al joked—"well, sort of. I liked to play what kids played, and eight-year-old Emily then was so much fun." ( I think that in that moment Dad was remembering those past basement sounds of a child's scooter and roller skates).
Endless Volunteering
The list of volunteer activities which has engaged the Madden family through the years appears endless. Gail has served as her church's communion and Eucharistic minister aide and annually spent a week with her youth ministry on a mission to St. Malachy's parish in Chicago's inner city; daughter Emily, who since age three had gone there with her mother, now goes on her own and on other mission trips with her father. Al dedicated a vacation week to help his church's youth ministry at the national Catholic Heart Work Camp. Gail and Al were also cleanup volunteers for the St. Vincent DePaul Society's PADS (Public Action to Deliver Shelter ). Since 1989 they have been active members of the Christian Family Movement, a national organization that promotes monthly meetings among parish families to discuss issues of faith. Gail also cooks for some of the church activities, including youth faith groups.
The skills she acquired while sewing clothing for her children she now applies to making quilts and knitting for charity and her own family. As the family grew, everyone would pitch in to serve dinners for the Catholic Charities agency in their area.
When young, the Madden children served as altar servers, and son Jeff was a Eucharistic minister every other week. "We took the kids to Sunday Mass since day one," Gail said. "Al also took kids to reconciliation (confession ) twice a year, and he still goes annually on a Rosary pilgrimage in nearby Des Plaines. He follows up with confession within three weeks."
It was time during our interview to ask the Maddens a few serious questions about their marriage and Christian faith. (We forget to ask though where they got time in their lives for a good night's sleep). Here’s how our conversation went:
Questions about the Madden's Faith and Marriage...
Family Peace Above Personal Desires?
How do you two handle moods, family debates, et cetera ?
Al: I always try to step into her shoes and try to understand her perspective. Then I know where she's coming from, that she has a good heart. That takes care of a lot of issues.
Gail: You're very good at it, too.
Do you ever have a moment when you find it impossible to step into her shoes?
Al (laughing ): Yeah, like sometimes I just don't understand [ her ] . Sometimes I don't think her course of action is correct, but her instincts are so good. She turns out to be right 90 percent of the time. If she really feels strong with something, then we'll go with it.
Gail (looking at Al ): I try to read your mood, and if you're really tired I try not to ask you to do things because you work hard every day and you come home and you're very supportive of us. But I think you're very good about thinking what's the best for all of us….I don't think we have that many disagreements.
(Al agreed with his wife... I interrupted with a joke about the husband debating with his wife, and he has the choice of being right or happy).
That's a good one! But I've also learned over the years that you try hard to think about what you're going to say before you say it, so that I'm not apologizing too much for it afterwards. Sometimes it's easier to keep quiet and count to ten.
What part does faith and religion play in your lives?
Al: I think it gets more important every day…because we're called to be more like
Christ. That's always the focus of what I'm trying to do. Matthew Kelly ( a celebrated Christian author ) says always make the right decision. Lots of time I just feel like sitting around and doing nothing . On the other hand, I'm called [ by God ] to get out of my comfort zone and just do it.
Do you feel like you have a relationship with Jesus Christ ?
Al: Sure. Because I'm trying to be like him. I'm not successful but I 'm making an effort...
Okay, Gail, it's your turn.
Okay, Gail, it's your turn.
Gail: The older I get the more I see all the blessings in my life. But I know I just can't do all these things myself. I just feel grateful that I have faith. My goal is to get to heaven, so I'm trying to find what Christ wants me to do that will help me make good decisions and teach the kids, and hopefully this will lead me to heaven.
Next Sunday: Do we all
Have True Freedom? Read
what a few interviewed
"free" people have to say.
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