Note: After a four-month rest from 12 years of weekly interviewing people with inspiring life stories to share with others in more than 12 countries, Exodus Trekkers and its author Bob Schwarz resume trekking Sunday, October 12. One of the first stories you'll be reading is "37 Years of Marriage Nourished by 8 and a Life of Faith, Love and Service. " This will be followed a week later by truth-sharing interviews with people who have trekked courageously through life questioning what true freedom is. Then, comes the interview with a Polish immigrant who cleans homes while also cleaning souls.
“Everybody here is encouraged to age as they like.”
Reported by Robert R. Schwarz
Mr. Schwarz is a retired newspaper editor and retired
leadership development manager for Lions Clubs International
In May of 2023 Mary Alice, my 83-year-old wife and I, 88, decided to leave the comforts of our suburban home of Arlington Heights near Chicago before our family and friends said we had to. During our first week at the HarborChase Assisted Living in Naperville, I tripped over my own feet while alone in the gym doing a balance exercise and broke my left hip. While in pain on my way to the hospital in the ambulance, I experienced a life transformative moment: I vowed that somehow I would apply this pain to helping others at HarborChase much better cope with pain. I was absolutely certain that this was God’s will, and that given the shades of my past sinful nature and misbehaving--only severe pain and a broken hip could have elicited this decision.
The staff at HarborChase
When I actually began to thank God for allowing me to stumble in that gym, I knew He had blessed me with a purpose at HarborChase. Living here was to chisel away at my own disability: a need to be in control of whatever life presented to me.
..
I. Slices of Life in our Dining Room
One of the most joyful birthdays of my adult life occurred shortly after 7:30 a.m. in the dining room as I finished by eggs-over-easy breakfast and was again reading my birthday card from Mary Alice, a life-time artist and art teacher. Besides her love message inside, she had painted a flower on the cover. Just then, several of the staff servers for the room’s more than 20 tables, each seating 4 residents, suddenly surrounded our table and sang “Happy Birthday.” I managed a child-like smile of embarrassment and gratitude. After the birthday chorus, my eyes wandered over to a table across the room where an 82 year old mother was feeding her 44 year old invalid daughter who had suffered from brain damage at since the age of 4 when her physician accidentally injected a double dose of a potent medicine to her. Most meals found me and the girl taking a moment of acknowledging each other. If she had slept well the night before, she would muster up
enough energy to smile at me and slowly bring her hands together and
manage a brief clapping motion. The first time our 99-year-old
tablemate, Helen, witnessed this, she said, “It’s worth being very old
when my great grandchildren hug me around the neck.” Sitting next
to Helen is Betty, a two year resident and avid conversationalist;
Betty once remarked to me with a sarcastic grin, “I’ll probably be
living here until the end, but I’m fortunate enough to be living here.”
Betty had worked for a law firm as an administrative assistant for 39
years.
The dining room is usually pleasant, calm and serene despite the chorus of sounds coming from the casual chatter of seniors and the hustle and bustle of servers who are constantly rushing back and forth to keep up with residents who sit down at the same table, but at different times, requesting substitutes for the meal and dessert choices on the menu. The servers address the residents by first
name and never fail to be genuinely friendly without the motivation of a good tip ( because there is no tipping at HarborChase).
II. To the Gym and Other Fun Stuff
9:30 a.m. Exercise with PT 10:00 a.m. Garden Club 10:45 a.m. This Date in History &and
Current Events 1:00 p.m. Internet Teachings 3:00 p.m. Baking Club 3:45 p.m. Karaoke 5:30 p.m. Walking Club 6:00 p.m. Classic Cinema III. An Interview with the Executive Director
What makes Anne happy? Laughing, she said “babies and puppies make me happy. Sometimes it is just living in the moment and being grateful for what’s there.” And sad? “People who steal and cheat. It also makes me sad when people question my integrity.” “Have there been any transformative or ‘Ah-ha!’ moments in your life?”, I asked.
She replied, “Yes, when my daughter was still born after nine months of pregnancy. It was the darkest period that anyone could go through. It changed everything in me—for the good. It made me a more compassionate person towards life; stronger, wiser, less afraid to take risks.” I asked Anne about her faith life. She said she is a Christian. “I feel that if people can live a Christian life on the outside, others will want a piece of that.” IV. Deacon DJ Shinkle
Once a week, residents are invited to participate in a serious discussion about life and the Christian faith by 91-year-old resident, DJ Shinkle. DJ’s full name is Derald James Shinkle, and he has been a deacon in the Catholic Church for over 40 years, although now he admits to being a full-time retiree. When I once asked Deacon Shinkle how he felt about a fairly often-heard opinion that American Society is more immoral than ever, he quickly countered with, “That’s not true. It’s not any worse than it was centuries ago”. When he noticed my quizzical look, he finished his thought with, “We just communicate more.” I bounced that response off a few other residents that day, and then went to bed and never debated the idea again.
DJ graduated from Arizona State College where he majored in speech and business. He served two years as an Airman First Class in the U.S. Navy and then worked in sales and marketing for electronic instruments that measure pollution. He was ordained a deacon by John Cardinal Cody in 1978 and served in several Catholic parishes in the Chicago area before retiring. His favorite Commandment is: love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself. DJ and his wife Kathleen Starr Dugan have been married 52 years; he passed away in 2013. The couple had five children. The pivotal event in this deacon’s life? “Marrying my wife,” he said. “She was everything to me; my sweetheart, my wife, my friend and my confidant. Being married to Kathleen opened up a whole new life for me as a husband and father”.
V. A Few Words from the Director of Maintenance
If he sees you coming, even 300 feet away, William Teague halts and gives you his attention. His smile is meant to say that Will Teague can fix just about anything electrical or mechanical in your apartment… though you may have to wait your turn for two or three days, especially if the building’s television sets have temporarily lost their on-line connection due to a network mishap.
Sixty-year-old Will came to HarborChase with 30 years of experience that included
carpentry, electrical, plumbing and mechanical work. He told me that he
also attended a trade school and classes on truck driving. Anne
Hoeksema, whom he refers to as “His great boss”, hired Will seven
months ago. “I like working here because this is a happy family. I am a
people person.” Will is married to Vicky who manages the bistro deli
here. They have five children and 13 grandchildren. Vicky is pastor of
the Youth Center Church in Naperville, where Will is a deacon.
Interacting with his grandchildren is what makes him happy, he told me.
He becomes sad when he is unable to help anyone who asks for his
technical help. Will is a large man, a bit overweight, but is now getting
in shape, especially after a heart attack and open heart surgery that put
him in rehab for six months. “The heart attack changed me. I now take
life more seriously and take nothing for granted.”
And,
Robert (aka Robb) Sacramental ( the man who tidies up and cleans all over
HarborChase )…
Rob was raised in a Chicago blue collar neighborhood. Rob has been a maintenance man most of his life, and now at age 67, he says he works as hard as a 20-year-old. In spite of arthritis in his lower back and scoliosis that makes him limp, he likes his
work at HarborChase. “The food is good, the work challenges me, we are kind and nice to each other here, and they leave me alone to do my work.” Rob has been married for 33 years and has two daughters. He loves to play pool and bowl and loves to watch boxing but hates baseball. He enjoys watching old Hollywood movies with actors such as James Cagney and John Wayne. Rob shared with me some memories of spending several years roaming the United States, sometimes homeless and penniless, in an attempt to gain a new identity. “One day I looked in the mirror, looking like a dead man.” At age 18 Rob had a life-defining moment soon after he interacted with members of a Mormon church and became Christian. Today Rob and his wife, Elizabeth, live in Plainfield, Illinois where they attend a church which he refers to as his family. VI. Maria Gutierrez… Maria, 39, is director of resident care and seemingly both a helping right and left hand for the executive director at HarborChase. Maria was hired one year ago and had, since a teenager, wanted to work in health care. “It has always been my passion,” she told me in our interview. Years ago, she had unsuccessfully applied for work at HarborChase.
I asked Maria what she thought was the reason for the obvious spirit of friendship between residents and staff at HarborChase; how did all of this evolve? Maria explained that the new management took deliberate steps to hire motivated, compassionate people who put
their hearts into their work instead of just people who only wanted a job. “I think we have a great team of directors, and the caregivers are awesome. Everybody in this building is special, and the building itself is well maintained.”
More of the staff...
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